The Diner

Jul. 5th, 2017 07:03 pm
yonkyu: (Default)
[personal profile] yonkyu
Title: The Diner
Author: [profile] yonyku
Giftee: [personal profile] spiralicious
Beta: [personal profile] cheshirejin
Character(s): Sam and Dean
Summary: Dean and Sam heading to a diner where Dean does the ordering.
A/N: I’ve been struggling with my character development and I asked a close friend to give me an assignment to help me work through it. So this story is for her!! The assignment was: Dean ordering food at a diner for himself and Sam. 200 words, by the end of the month. This is for you hun!!! Happy Birthday!!!


All Dean saw was the double yellow line and a passed out Sam in the back, stretched out, arms clenched tight around the flannel blanket from the trunk. Another hunt that got Sam hurt, knocked out by an angry spirit, and why Sam was in the backseat.

Dean caught a sign for a motel and diner off the next exit. His stomach rumbled at the mere thought of a juicy bacon cheeseburger with fries. He took the exit and headed right to the diner. Looking in the rearview mirror, Sam began to stir, making his brother appear like a broken rag doll.

Pulling into the diner, Dean parked, shaking his brother awake. “Let’s grab some food.” Sam blinked his hazel eyes and nodded. They both got out of the car. Dean held the door open for Sam who picked out a booth. A petite older woman stopped to take their order, asking, “What can I get you boys?”

“Samantha, here, will have toast. And I’ll have pancakes and bacon.”

The lady wrote it down on her pad, and Dean dared to look at his brother. The bitchface Sam gave him, Dean hadn’t seen since before Stanford. Dean smiled right back.

Date: 2017-07-06 12:19 am (UTC)
sylvanwitch: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sylvanwitch
I really like how you manage to make it clear when this is taking place in canon (S1, I’d guess) with a simple detail (Dean not having seen the face since before Stanford). I also like the way your details, specifically of Dean watching Sam in the rearview and wanting to help him out but doing it in his patented Dean-like way, in other words by insults and food. I also like that he doesn’t end up getting the big meal he’d planned on, almost like he wants to keep Sam company eating breakfast food (toast that’s easy for Sam’s stomach, I’m assuming). Nice job!


yonkyu: (Default)

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