I keep trying...

[yonkyu]

Everyone keeps telling to write. That the more I write the better I will get. And to read everything I write out loud because it will help make my story flow well guess what. I have to agree it helps but I still suck. I don't have a voice any form of voice but expressing the emotions of my characters. Guess what? That's only part of writing a story. There's so many more elements to work in and I doubt I'll make it realistic. Even it my characters are based off a TV show. Yet I should be happy with hits and kudos but guess what? I'm not. It shows me what people DONT want to read. When everyone else gets thousands of hits kudos and comments. I get NOTHING. I'll keep writing but I can't stand being told I'm getting better when no one can specify how I'm improving. It's so hard and something I'll struggle with till the day I die. I can't write o e scene at the beginning then another at the end. I just can't seem to do it. I know drafts are rough and a mess then you clean it up to make it stand out and guess what never going to happen. I read my stories and I like them and I'm just pushed to the side for a better writer. Whatever. It's never going to change. For once I would love feedback that's helpful to me in improving . Only to keep writing. I know writing is hard but I feel my grammar is my fear of never understanding the elements and points to writing a story. Kudos to me is I read it or thanks for a sharing the story felt it was worth the time to take a chance on it. Whatever I'm only improving one step forward five steps back. At least it's how I feel about things. So I keep writing and putting the words down and do my best to make it flow without repetition and to make reminders throughout fic. Not every paragraph. I keep trying new things. Write small and even that's a struggle. And I'll never be the student to make progress.

Comments

[poisontaster]

You're almost never going to get constructive criticism as a comment to your story. The fandom culture is set up to discourage that very thing; most people don't want it and respond horribly to getting it. So fandom itself is set up in a way that people are either only going to say the nicest things or nothing at all (mostly nothing at all). So if that's your goal, stop trying to get it from there.

The other part of it is that a lot of people don't know HOW to give concrit and giving it feels too confrontational, so they're afraid to do it. They don't want to hurt someone's feelings, they don't want to be "mean" (I completely disagree with the notion that concrit has to be mean, though I will concede that some people use the idea of concrit to just be assholes). And, too, a lot of people just don't know HOW to give concrit. They know what they like, but they don't think about it critically, they don't know how a story fits together or how to make it better. Finding someone who is good at concrit, period, but ESPECIALLY in fandom, is REALLY HARD. In my ten years in fandom, I've had basically TWO friends who were really good at concrit. Two. And I don't have one of them as a friend anymore.

So don't give up, but recognize that it's HARD. Improving is hard. Finding a person or people that can help you improve is hard. And recognize that it's art. And art is subjective.

[yonkyu.livejournal.com]

I totally hear what you are saying. And I would have to agree with you.

I'm sorry you lost a good friend who was there to encourage you.

I'm going to keep trying. And know no matter how much I write or work on getting better it is HARD. It's very hard.

Thanks for the honest and blunt comment.