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yonkyuMan, I don't know where to start with this one but the best place to start is from the beginning.
I've been doing karate for almost 19 years and I was recently promoted to 6th Degree Black Belt. Every year my teacher's teacher would hold a tournament in May for all students. I remember signing up for my first tournament as an orange belt at the age of 17 I believe. I only competed in kata and there was only me and this other girl. When it was time to line up and receive our medals, I was told first place, then I was told no that was a mistake and I have earned second place. The next tournament I competed in was when I was a black belt. I felt like a was the black sheep. I was not very known and made to feel that I was not able to compete with higher skilled women in my division. Well, one year I decided to try sparring at a tournament and little did I know or realize that I was be going up for first or second place medal until it was in my face. I held on for a long time and that was about 6 to 7 years ago. Now, I've been doing extra tournaments that are close to home with a group of students from my dojo that have been on the tournament circuit for a few years. Every time I'm there at the tournament, everyone is excited and happy to see me but when it comes down to it, they really are not that excited. And it's been hard to get back into the dojo family again since I have returned from my masters. I had to stop attending karate to complete my schooling to earn my degree. Ever since I've been back it's been hard to feel the love or warm acceptance. I have a feeling of not belonging to this group of competitors from my school. This group takes pictures at every tournament and I was only in one. One. It was not the greatest feeling I have to say. The parents talked to me and were happy to see me but not as much as my friend Jen. It's hard to be compared to her. She's the better teacher, student, role model. It's hard not to be jealous, but it's nice when I make a connection with a student and/or their family. But sometimes its hard to feel like I belong when I'm not included in simple things like pictures. I guess it will take time. Maybe be the bigger person in all of this. This time my instructor was supportive of me and encouraged me to do the best I could and to take them down. LOL. I got some nice feedback from another instructor and I know that I belong in the division I'm in, but I want them to know that too. So, there was a tournament this weekend and there were so many people it was crazy. I placed 3rd in kata (forms) and sparring. The sparring match was 4 to 5. And I had to spar my friend Jen. But needless to say, I'm happy with the results. The other two women were better than me, but I want them to know that I'm not going to back down, I'm going to keep fighting and proving to them that I belong here. And I hope the tournament group from my dojo will accept me on their team.
I've been doing karate for almost 19 years and I was recently promoted to 6th Degree Black Belt. Every year my teacher's teacher would hold a tournament in May for all students. I remember signing up for my first tournament as an orange belt at the age of 17 I believe. I only competed in kata and there was only me and this other girl. When it was time to line up and receive our medals, I was told first place, then I was told no that was a mistake and I have earned second place. The next tournament I competed in was when I was a black belt. I felt like a was the black sheep. I was not very known and made to feel that I was not able to compete with higher skilled women in my division. Well, one year I decided to try sparring at a tournament and little did I know or realize that I was be going up for first or second place medal until it was in my face. I held on for a long time and that was about 6 to 7 years ago. Now, I've been doing extra tournaments that are close to home with a group of students from my dojo that have been on the tournament circuit for a few years. Every time I'm there at the tournament, everyone is excited and happy to see me but when it comes down to it, they really are not that excited. And it's been hard to get back into the dojo family again since I have returned from my masters. I had to stop attending karate to complete my schooling to earn my degree. Ever since I've been back it's been hard to feel the love or warm acceptance. I have a feeling of not belonging to this group of competitors from my school. This group takes pictures at every tournament and I was only in one. One. It was not the greatest feeling I have to say. The parents talked to me and were happy to see me but not as much as my friend Jen. It's hard to be compared to her. She's the better teacher, student, role model. It's hard not to be jealous, but it's nice when I make a connection with a student and/or their family. But sometimes its hard to feel like I belong when I'm not included in simple things like pictures. I guess it will take time. Maybe be the bigger person in all of this. This time my instructor was supportive of me and encouraged me to do the best I could and to take them down. LOL. I got some nice feedback from another instructor and I know that I belong in the division I'm in, but I want them to know that too. So, there was a tournament this weekend and there were so many people it was crazy. I placed 3rd in kata (forms) and sparring. The sparring match was 4 to 5. And I had to spar my friend Jen. But needless to say, I'm happy with the results. The other two women were better than me, but I want them to know that I'm not going to back down, I'm going to keep fighting and proving to them that I belong here. And I hope the tournament group from my dojo will accept me on their team.
