The Real Me

Well its been awhile since I posted anything majorly going on.  I have to admit that over the last month I have been extremely stressed, overwhelmed, low self-esteem, and feeling like I am sitting in a corner with my knees to my chest, rocking back and forth alone.  I have so much going on right now and its really hard to handle.  I have expressed these feelings to friends but let me say that they have not been very helpful what so ever.  Every time I try to express my self, they make a comment that is suppose to be supportive and then the conversation goes right back to being about them.  Its gotten to the point I really don't want to share anything with them at the moment.  I don't need negative people in my life right now.

First to start off I was recently rear-ending on a snowy day at a red light.  Damages were worth over a few thousand dollars.  I am doing well, no injuries.  My car has been in the shop for a week and I called them up to see how things were going.  I found out that there were more damages once they started working on it but nothing major so that is good!! I will be getting another check due to the new damages they found.  Its just been stressful because I am driving my mom's car and I have not problem driving it, its just not the same as mine. :/  But the guy did say that I should get it back by the end of the week.

Second I applied for my masters program.  YAY!!! I am excited about it and wanting to start the program.  I start in March or April.  I had printed out a paper to request my official transcript and I faxed it over to the registrar office 2 1/2 weeks ago.  I called them up and they said they never received it.  I had to send it over again 2 more times to see if they will finally send the transcript over to the school.  So I am hoping it arrives by the end of the week or beginning of next week.

Thirdly I am so overwhelmed with my friend's wedding.  I am a bridesmaid in her wedding.  The bride wants a Jack and Jill party.  So the bridal party is in the process of planning it.  I was the first and only person to get invitations out ON-TIME, while the others were 3 days later.  Also any of the suggestions I share are turned down.  I suggested, if they are buying tickets to get in, why can't they bring in a gift card of the amount of the ticket instead since the money we are collecting is for the bride and groom.  I was shoot down right away.  The party is in 2 weeks and we still don't have a FINAL head count of how many are coming either.  So I am creating a movie basket raffle, buying bracelets (as a favor), and chips with different dips and hummus.  Finally the bridal party BOUGHT their dresses and shoes.  The dresses are not due in until May 7th, 6 weeks BEFORE the wedding.  I hope alterations will be quick and smoothly.

Fourthly I am still having issues with my boss and co-teacher.  My boss is still rude, belittling, and shows favoritism.  Its really not the best environment from my boss, but I feel confident to express feelings with her boss.  My co-teacher NEVER does what she is suppose to do.  Everyone has to do what she does not do on top of what each person already has to do.  So its like I am doing 2 jobs in one, or like 3 jobs in one.

SO in a nut shell I feel like shit and worthless and no one to really turn to too express my feelings.  The only hope and light I have is trying to write the next section for my story.  I have gotten a lot of advice and suggestions regarding the subject material.  I don't get much email as it is and it would be nice to get an email with some encouraging words and hope!!!  Anything would make me happy, even a fic written just for me, or a manip, or even a gif from a website, I don't care, anything to bring a smile to my face.