Looking For A Fic

I'm looking for a fic, a rec of a fic, or anything relating to the episode "Red Meat."

I recently have been rewatching the episodes and saw Red Meat and was curious if there were any fics out there relating to the episode and to the hidden secret of Dean committing suicide during the episode. If you know of any, please share them my way. And I thank you all in advance.

Or any fics relating to Dean committing suicide during that time and Sam somehow finds out about it.