Personal - Self Worth

[yonkyu]

I'm a member at spn storyfinders and I love reading the requests from others and the stories found for the topic at hand. While there, I found one request that spoke deeply with me, that words can't even express.

I rec this wonderful and truly emotional piece written by septembers_coda known as I'm OK, You're OK.
I'm OK

Its a beautiful piece about Dean's self-worth and how he sees himself. Its not just a story about our favorite beloved boys, but a worthy piece that everyone should read. It opens the readers eyes into their own soul and how they feel about themselves. I cried my way through the story, especially the dialogue between the characters. And I'm still teary-eyed as I write this post.

I give septembers_coda for sharing this story with fandom and putting the heart and soul into it. It takes a talent and amazing writer to look deep within your own heart and soul to write an emotional piece about self worth. Thank you for writing an amazing piece that would be a wonderful resource for others who think so low of themselves that they deserve to be in the bubble by themselves with their growing pain, guilt, shame, etc. Because of this story, you opened my eyes to my dark secrets and fears.

I'm an only child and I wasn't taught to do things on my own. I was never taught, to never ask for help. I was never taught to have high expectations about myself on a personal, professional, and fun level of myself. I was around adults for the majority of my life, the only time I spent with kids my age was when I went to school, and various extra curricular activities I participated in when I was younger. Throughout school I was very interested in math and science and I understood numbers, equations, and various ways to solve the problem. I learned to do things on my own and not ask for help. Its not the I couldn't ask for help, but I felt that I had to learn how to solve problems and situations on my own without guidance in achieving the outcome.

In a nut shell, I do everything for myself. I never ask for help on a personal level or even a professional level. When I asked or told to do something, I just do it. I don't fight or argue with why it needs to be done or not. And then when I do ask for help, I don't get the help I need; or the help is very negative and I feel, what's the point. I can't do it anyway.

And it brings me to my journey of writing. I have accepted that it might take me longer to write a story, edit the story to its final piece to post. I get excited and nervous about wanting to share my story with others because I'm afraid of the negative and hurtful feedback about my writing. I've been begin to see it in a different light. I have help from amazing and wonderful friends that I know I can do and I will do my best to achieve this goal. Its okay to ask for help, but at the same time, its knowing when and who you can ask the help from.

I'm working on it and asking for help. And I'm beginning to accept - This is me and its okay!!!

Comments

[septembers-coda.livejournal.com]

Wow... this is the best and most intense rec ever. I can't express how much it moves me to know that my story helped you. If I can accomplish that as a writer, it sort of makes me feel like I've arrived! The journey to self-esteem is a rocky road for me as well, but one I intend to keep travelling, whatever the obstacles. I wish you the best with your own journey!

And Things like this lift me up so much. So thanks for that. :-D

<3 <3 <3

[yonkyu.livejournal.com]

Very welcome!!! What you wrote, how you wrote it, and the emotions behind your words are very meaningful with heart and soul.

For years, even now, I have low self-esteem and confidence, even though I hold myself together. After reading this story, it makes me want to stand up even more for myself and not be afraid to share and express my feelings to others. It opened my eyes to know that its okay and its okay to be me.

I might not be a talented writer, by any means, but this, this is something I want to accomplish on my journey for writing. It might take years for it to happen, but I'm going to enjoy the journey. I'm so passionate about writing for many reasons - thought one stands out for me. I went to a dreams class, and shared my dream of never getting to open the door with yellow light escaping from the cracks. The dream class helped me open the door and I saw myself standing in a library hold a handmade book made from leather. I knew at that moment, I made the book, and written the words on the pages. I'm not sure how true it is, but I do know that I've had this dream for as long as I can remember.

Thank you for sharing your story and your journey through the words you wrote. Thank you for being an inspiration and the light at pushing me to really wanting to achieve my goals!!!!

[septembers-coda.livejournal.com]

What a cool dream, and what a great way to realize what your hopes and passions are! I'm glad you got to hold your book. Now you just have to write it! I know you'll get there. Have you ever thought about doing NaNoWriMo? It's already started this year (it's November), but you could still join in and write for it, if you have time this month. I started a comm for people doing it, or who want to support others doing it, or just want a place to encourage them in writing. Here it is, if you're interested: http://natallwrimo.livejournal.com/

I'm so happy to hear you're learning to express yourself. The world needs that. <3

[yonkyu.livejournal.com]

It was a cool dream and it shared a light of who I am. Its nice to have something that I'm passionate about besides - karate and working with children (I'm a Toddler Teacher).

Yes, I will accomplish my goal in writing!! Someday, I hope to have a story as inspirational as yours!!!

Thanks for the kind and encouraging words. I join the comm and excited to write. I'm gonna use my secret santa prompt to help me write the 50,000 words. LOL.