Dean

[yonkyu]

I just read this most amazing story that made me cry and wonder how Sam and Dean's relationship will be like in season 11.

I recommend this story... Body of Proof...in a nutshell it is the only way Sam knows how to get through to Dean for all the shit (past and present) Dean has done to Sam over the years.
Body of Proof

To start off right away... I'm a Dean girl, but I have a lot of love for Sam as well.

Everyone wants Dean to apologize for ALL the shit he has done to Sam. Shall we make a list.

Dean takes away Sam's ability to make decisions. Dean takes away the life Sam created for himself. Dean takes Sam's girlfriend away for a hunt. Dean lies to Sam. Dean has Sam's back when he doesn't want it. Dean sacrifices his life to bring Sam back. Dean hides himself away from Sam. Dean thinks Sam's a monster. Dean is afraid of his brother. Dean needs Sam more than Sam needs Dean. Dean manipulates Sam to follow DEan's advice. Dean protects Sam from Dean. Dean can't let Sam go. Dean can't let Sam be who he is. Dean lets an angel possess him without consent. Dean makes Sam believe Dean is untrustworthy. Dean pushes Sam away. Dean makes life miserable.

I have come to feel that no matter what decisions Dean makes: Dean will ALWAYS be wrong and worthless.

When Dean is right - he is wrong.
When Dean is wrong - he is wrong.
When Dean is neutral - he is wrong.
No matter what Dean does in his life in regards to Sam - Dean will always be wrong and a horrible person.

Dean ALMOST made the final straw. He ALMOST killed his own brother. Dean should have been left to suffer the MArk's hold - it is what Dean deserves in the end. In a sense - Dean raped Sam and does not understand why Sam acts the way he does towards Dean. Sam may have been determined to save his brother, but will the cycle change or continue to the same manner. Will Dean continue to make chooses and other decisions for Sam or will Dean truly understand what HE has done to his own brother for years?

Once Dean takes in what has happened...Dean will be broken more than we have ever seen him and he deserves to feel that way.

Sam and Dean love each other but so much hurt done to each other leaves a mark in a person's heart. Will either one of them get what they deserve? Sam will finally get to make decisions and chooses that Dean will have to learn to trust Sam on, just like Sam did, but did Sam?

Sam is the good son - the good brother - the prodigal son. The one who is pure and has a heart.
Dean is a soldier - a horrible brother - the snake (the devil). The one who is cursed and has no heart.

Though I can't help but think of all the things Dean did for those he loved and deserved something for his efforts. But no, Dean will fall hard, real hard, and lose his way. Dean deserves nothing, he can not love, be happy, or want the best for his brother. No - no matter what he does, says, and keep to himself - he is wrong.

Now I get why many people WANT to BLAME Dean for everything that has happened on SPN. Because it will prove a point since Season One.

Dean needs his family MORE than his family NEEDS him. Sadly, it is true. And everyone wants to make sure Dean is aware and reminded DAILY of his mistakes, his errors, and his failures.

Anyway - I needed to express and get it out. My only wish is that Sam and Dean truly express how they really feel and find a way to heal from all they have gone through.

I will probably PISS a lot of people off with this, but I hope to be respect for how I feel. I love Dean and he is so broken and made mistakes that cost Sam his life over again. But the perspective Dean was shown to see is very different. I hope they can get past this new situation they faced and being to heal. Sometimes I wish Sam would show and teach Dean how to love, to trust, and to be vulnerable.

Comments

[samaya256.livejournal.com]

No,you aren't alone in thinking these thoughts. I am a Dean girl and I don't know,I feel that most of the arguments stating Dean is the worst thing since the genesis are inherently flawed. I know how frustrating it can be when all the things that go wrong are blamed on Dean even when he is clearly not responsible for some of them. But that is a pattern that has been established in the show, right from the first season, and it makes sense if you consider the fact that Sam is clearly the lead of the show-at least where writing/storytelling is considered.

I might get some hate for this, but, I'm frankly sick of Dean being the scapegoat/apologizing for every single thing that ever went wrong on the show. Heck, the man hasn't had a decent day since he was four years old and all he gets is more blame. I get that Jensen is good as broken!Dean but I'm just so done with that at this point of time. When I watch Dean, I see the flaws but I also see the fighting-spirit, I see the man who takes difficult decisions, I see the man who refuses to roll over and die no matter what. And I love that about him more than anything else.

[yonkyu.livejournal.com]

It's good to know that I am not the only one to think this. It is why I never express how I feel when it comes to the boys.

You won't get hate from me that's for sure. I want both boys to realize what they have done to the other, but I would love Sam to truly see his brother with a new perspective. Though I doubt it would happen. Dean needs to stop blaming himself for other people's actions, including Sam and Castiel. Dean makes choices that are tough, hard, and very difficult. Dean weighs the options as much as it may not seem like he does, but he does. He tries so hard to be like Sam, be a better man.

Though you are very true about the show focusing on Sam and Sam being the head runner of the show. It's always been about Sam. Dean deserves more to life than hunting, to hustling, and whoring himself out to any willing body. He deserves to have friends and have a hobby that is unique to himself.

In the past few years, Sam has said something to Dean that were rough and harsh. I can't say they were uncharacteristically Sam because of the way Sam interacts with Dean during those "chick-flick moments." So when Dean took the Mark, it did not surprise me at all, what did, was Sam saying "he lied" and his determination to save his brother. Sam's speech to Charlie was hard to take and truly believe. Sam wants Dean to let him go and be his own man, but how can Dean when he doesn't even know how to do that himself?

I would love for them to fix tings and express truly how they really feel, though it will happen on Sam's end, not Dean, cause he will think, what's the point - he won't believe me even when I tell the truth. What I loved about the Mark was Dean never lied once and Sam and Castiel were oblivious to it, very sad.

Dean needs more love and hugz. He deserves to me loved for his flaws and strengths. His love for family, to die fighting, and his will to keep pushing forward.

Thanks for sharing with me about this subject. It's hard to watch Dean get thrown under the bus on a regular basis.

[samaya256.livejournal.com]

I agree with most of your points but I can't buy that Sam is the better man of the two. I know that I'm supposed to think of Sam as the good one and Dean as the one who always screws up, but, what I see on my screen doesn't agree with that interpretation. There is this huge gap between 'show' and 'tell' and it is hard to ignore that.

I don't agree with the show's take on hunting.I liked the first few seasons,when hunting was treated as a noble profession, even when it was shown that most hunters were jaded by the lifestyle. Dean, is not cut for the normal life-partly because of his upbringing, partly because he is wired that way. So I have no problem with him being on road and taking his pleasure wherever he can. I don't see it as him whoring himself-I see it as him enjoying himself when he can. It actually makes sense when you think about how unpredictable his life is.

Sam's had a distinct Hero's journey arc for the first 5 seasons. Compare that to Dean's arc and you'll see that he's barely had any story other than supporting Sam. Relegating Dean to the supporting role is a disservice to the character and the actor, and I don't think it's much to ask-considering how talented Jensen is at showing new facets of Dean. And I get why Dean thinks he is unworthy and unloved-wouldn't you think the same if your brother abandons you in Purgatory? We can fanwank S8 and Ruby with a hundred explanations but that wouldn't change the canon. So I get where Dean is coming from. He's been betrayed by his own family in the past(I'm not only taking about Sam here)and he's automatically expected to forgive and trust them. He's in such a place that he can't win, either way.

I know, I sound bitter, but there is a reason for that. I just read about S11 and apparently the show-runner is blaming Dean for the Darkness. So, once again, Dean will be thrown under the bus even if it is not his fault. Nevermind that it was Sam who went behind his brother's back and freed darkness with the help of a witch. I guess, its business as usual and it is stupidity to expect anything else from the show.

[yonkyu.livejournal.com]

I agree with your point. And as much as I said Sam as the better man, I don't agree with it.

This is an amazing point: "I know that I'm supposed to think of Sam as the good one and Dean as the one who always screws up, but, what I see on my screen doesn't agree with that interpretation. There is this huge gap between 'show' and 'tell' and it is hard to ignore that." Cause I completely agree with you. And it puts many things into perspective.

As much as I want more for Dean, his lifestyle, is on the road, living it up to his happiness and expectations.

I would completely think the same way as Dean if my brother never came looking for me when I was missing. And sadly, all his life, he has been betrayed by his family and his extended family and "friend" family to sum it all up. And it makes me wonder if some of these reasons (we have shared) are reasons Dean took the Mark. The Mark possibly gave him reasons to fight and be himself.

Dean has not had much of a storyline to begin with and that is sad. All characters need to grow and evolve, and I feel Dean has, but for his own good will, with no support from others.

It's okay to be pissed off about the information you read, I would be. How can the show-runner put the blame on Dean for the removal of the Mark, when it solely lies on SAM? Sam never gets blamed for anything and the distance the brothers already have will continue to grow. At this point, the show will most likely end with Sam and Dean in a major showdown. And they would make Sam win. God, it's so annoying. And this is why I have a hard time believing Sam loves his brother.

[cillab42.livejournal.com]

I have always felt this way. Every decision Dean has made always comes back to bite him in the ass when it always-always benefits Sam.
I've always disliked how when Dean makes a mistake, it's the end of the world bt when Sam does he thinks that if he talks it out and apologizes, then all should be okay.
l love both of the brothers but I am a Dean girl through and through and just want to see him get a break.

[yonkyu.livejournal.com]

You are not alone. And I agree. Every decision Dean has ever made bites him in the ass when it always benefits his brother. Sometimes I wish Sam would see that.

Any mistake made from Dean is tragic well Sam's is okay when you apologize for it. Yeah sometimes that works but most of the time it doesn't. And Dean brings them up because he is trying to express to Sam that Sam made a mistake, but it means nothing and it happened a long time ago. But everything Dean does is always a reminder of him being worthless, selfish, poison, guilty, shame, and every other emotion under the sun.

I want Dean to get a break too and be happy. Smile for real and not have to hide it. Be able to be himself and vulnerable without being afraid too.