Original Work
Jul. 29th, 2015 11:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yonkyuTitle: Original Work
Author: yonkyu
Characters: Erin
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: health issues, cancer, self-doubt, emotional stress and turmoil
Summaries: Erin reflects on her life and realizes she had made self-discoveries about herself that she would not if she continued down the path of self-harm (emotionally).
Author's Notes: unbetaed.
There comes a point when you think the world is out to get you. Things happen for a reason, life lessons that knock you off your feet. The truth hurts more than the lies you create to make life easier. You are denying yourself the chance to grow and become a beautiful butterfly.
Erin takes the time to reflect on her life story of 32 years in the making. The roller-coaster of journeys and adventures. Though, filled with doubt, fear, and disgust that true happiness isn’t out there.
She takes the time to close her eyes and breathe in deep, feeling her chest expand as the breath enters her body. Erin lets it out slowly and her heartbeat calms, similar to the motion of the wave’s crash on the shore.
She lets the moment take her by surprise. There has been the so much emotional toll on her body that it sends a shiver through her body. Erin thought she would have experiences that would last a lifetime, accept it was discovering who she was and who she could trust when the shit hit the fan.
Erin learned that she would be able to deal with any situation that was put in front of her. So much changed when she had to face a health crisis in the face. Wanting to prevent health issues in the future she wanted to start now and find ways to deal with them head on. Erin discovered the emotional burden of waiting for the results of her test. Breast cancer or nothing? The waiting is what made her mind spin and turn like a hamster on its wheel. The obsessive behavior of checking her breasts became her focus point once she had the test. Waiting for the results reminded her of elementary school when time stood still and took forever to get going. It was all she thought about and she couldn’t find a way to turn it off.
The phone rang and Erin hesitantly picks up the phone with shaky hands. She turns the phone on and says, “Hello.”
“This is doctor Roberts, is this Erin?”
“Yes, this is Erin.”
“Hello, Erin. I wanted to give you the results of your test. The 6-millimeter lesion that we found on the right side is benign. No, cancer.”
Erin sighs with relief. “Thank you Dr. Roberts.”
“You are very welcome, Erin. Have a wonderful day.”
“Thank you.”
Erin hangs the phone up and cries tears of joys. The drops landing in her hands that have cradled her face.
She lets out a shaky breath and feels her body relax at the relief of not having cancer. Sadly it didn’t stop her fear that she would find anther spot that needed to be checked.
Along this journey of life. It's moments like this that reminds her that we can stay in our shell of our soul. We need to get out there and enjoy the world around us. It has so much to offer.
It's just one of the many experiences that have shaped Erin into the person she is today. A person that keeps everything bottled inside and has very few people she can trust to tell them every on her mind.
Remembering the reactions to the results of breast cancer, losing her grandfather to cancer, feeling different from the family, and wondering why she wasn’t worth the fight.
Her parents were falling apart and she wasn’t sure what to do. Though, she took it upon herself to get some help from a professional. Let’s just say that it didn’t help the way Erin was expecting it. Being told “Why does it matter to you anyway” was a slap in the face. Erin loved her parents and hoped one day that she would find the love of her life just as her parents found it with each other. She soon realized that those feelings can change, whether a person expects it or not.
She had nowhere to turn and the emotional stress of health issues, family issues, and being a young adult exploring the world. Erin was able to overcome the health scare of breast cancer and her family issues, but she held all those feelings inside. Afraid to tell anyone what was going on and how it truly affected her in the long run.
It didn’t take long to find out who her real friends were and who supported her to make a difference and be herself.
Erin was able to admit to herself after years of friendship that only two of those friends she could trust with her life. Not that she had many friends to begin with, but those two people allowed her to be herself instead of being someone she wasn’t. They helped her feel confident in herself and be able to express herself without fear. It was this life lesson that has made Erin see the goodness in others and what friendship is all about. It’s about being there, thick or thin, without questions, in good times or bad times. They didn’t have to speak every day or see each other every single day. Erin learned that they would be there not matter what happened in her life. They helped her to accept who she was as a person and to love herself with all her heart.
Though, the best thing was discovering a network for blogging that she could use to express herself without fear of being judged. She made many friends and has discovered a love for writing. And it’s a way for her to heal. When she writes, she puts a piece of herself in the story, through the characters, their actions, behaviors, their connections; a powerful connection of love and understanding to be one’s self without being judged.
Writing has helped her express these feelings in ways she never dreamed it would. It has helped her connected with other souls who have a love for writing and telling a story.
Writing and reading have helped her overcome some emotional struggles of self-doubt and fear. These stories have beautiful messages that speak to her soul that moves her to acknowledge the love she has for herself and wanting to be a better person in the end to herself.
Author: yonkyu
Characters: Erin
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: health issues, cancer, self-doubt, emotional stress and turmoil
Summaries: Erin reflects on her life and realizes she had made self-discoveries about herself that she would not if she continued down the path of self-harm (emotionally).
Author's Notes: unbetaed.
There comes a point when you think the world is out to get you. Things happen for a reason, life lessons that knock you off your feet. The truth hurts more than the lies you create to make life easier. You are denying yourself the chance to grow and become a beautiful butterfly.
Erin takes the time to reflect on her life story of 32 years in the making. The roller-coaster of journeys and adventures. Though, filled with doubt, fear, and disgust that true happiness isn’t out there.
She takes the time to close her eyes and breathe in deep, feeling her chest expand as the breath enters her body. Erin lets it out slowly and her heartbeat calms, similar to the motion of the wave’s crash on the shore.
She lets the moment take her by surprise. There has been the so much emotional toll on her body that it sends a shiver through her body. Erin thought she would have experiences that would last a lifetime, accept it was discovering who she was and who she could trust when the shit hit the fan.
Erin learned that she would be able to deal with any situation that was put in front of her. So much changed when she had to face a health crisis in the face. Wanting to prevent health issues in the future she wanted to start now and find ways to deal with them head on. Erin discovered the emotional burden of waiting for the results of her test. Breast cancer or nothing? The waiting is what made her mind spin and turn like a hamster on its wheel. The obsessive behavior of checking her breasts became her focus point once she had the test. Waiting for the results reminded her of elementary school when time stood still and took forever to get going. It was all she thought about and she couldn’t find a way to turn it off.
The phone rang and Erin hesitantly picks up the phone with shaky hands. She turns the phone on and says, “Hello.”
“This is doctor Roberts, is this Erin?”
“Yes, this is Erin.”
“Hello, Erin. I wanted to give you the results of your test. The 6-millimeter lesion that we found on the right side is benign. No, cancer.”
Erin sighs with relief. “Thank you Dr. Roberts.”
“You are very welcome, Erin. Have a wonderful day.”
“Thank you.”
Erin hangs the phone up and cries tears of joys. The drops landing in her hands that have cradled her face.
She lets out a shaky breath and feels her body relax at the relief of not having cancer. Sadly it didn’t stop her fear that she would find anther spot that needed to be checked.
Along this journey of life. It's moments like this that reminds her that we can stay in our shell of our soul. We need to get out there and enjoy the world around us. It has so much to offer.
It's just one of the many experiences that have shaped Erin into the person she is today. A person that keeps everything bottled inside and has very few people she can trust to tell them every on her mind.
Remembering the reactions to the results of breast cancer, losing her grandfather to cancer, feeling different from the family, and wondering why she wasn’t worth the fight.
Her parents were falling apart and she wasn’t sure what to do. Though, she took it upon herself to get some help from a professional. Let’s just say that it didn’t help the way Erin was expecting it. Being told “Why does it matter to you anyway” was a slap in the face. Erin loved her parents and hoped one day that she would find the love of her life just as her parents found it with each other. She soon realized that those feelings can change, whether a person expects it or not.
She had nowhere to turn and the emotional stress of health issues, family issues, and being a young adult exploring the world. Erin was able to overcome the health scare of breast cancer and her family issues, but she held all those feelings inside. Afraid to tell anyone what was going on and how it truly affected her in the long run.
It didn’t take long to find out who her real friends were and who supported her to make a difference and be herself.
Erin was able to admit to herself after years of friendship that only two of those friends she could trust with her life. Not that she had many friends to begin with, but those two people allowed her to be herself instead of being someone she wasn’t. They helped her feel confident in herself and be able to express herself without fear. It was this life lesson that has made Erin see the goodness in others and what friendship is all about. It’s about being there, thick or thin, without questions, in good times or bad times. They didn’t have to speak every day or see each other every single day. Erin learned that they would be there not matter what happened in her life. They helped her to accept who she was as a person and to love herself with all her heart.
Though, the best thing was discovering a network for blogging that she could use to express herself without fear of being judged. She made many friends and has discovered a love for writing. And it’s a way for her to heal. When she writes, she puts a piece of herself in the story, through the characters, their actions, behaviors, their connections; a powerful connection of love and understanding to be one’s self without being judged.
Writing has helped her express these feelings in ways she never dreamed it would. It has helped her connected with other souls who have a love for writing and telling a story.
Writing and reading have helped her overcome some emotional struggles of self-doubt and fear. These stories have beautiful messages that speak to her soul that moves her to acknowledge the love she has for herself and wanting to be a better person in the end to herself.
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no subject
Date: 2015-07-30 02:13 pm (UTC)I like this change in your narrative.
M
no subject
Date: 2015-07-30 02:40 pm (UTC)Something very different from me I know. And a reflect on myself.
I have not been able to write and I wrote this last night; I felt relief for this creation.
Thanks for the comment about my narrative.
<3
I've missed you.