My Poem

[yonkyu]

Please tell me what you think of my poem?
Thank you

Please help me with another word for reveals?


As Darkness fades
the light shines through,
it reveals the mountain and trees
where animals play
in the warm sun
that shines light through
out on the field.

As Darkness fades
light shines through,
as it shows the mountains,
where it snowed in the night sky,
now reveals the beauty of the mountains
covered in a white blanket.

By Erin

Also help if the comas are in the right palce as well.
thanks