The Real Me

I sent in my Big Bang story!!!! It's a rough draft and I have to re-work a scene. It's quite alright with me. Not much of the scene will change, most likely the tone will change.

Now I am on the search for an Alpha and Beta Readers for my story!!!

IF anyone is interested and willing to help me out. PM me and I will get back to you!!!

A few more scenes and I will be finished. I go distracted and didn't write much because of a bad grade in school. I have had to do homework ahead of time to send it off to the writing center to a tutor for help and suggestions!! I even re-wrote a scene and I'm pleased with it and I hope it comes off realistically.



Pleased with my progress and goal for the year!!!

I am officially done with the snow. I may be a New Englander who lives in Massachusetts, but I don't like so much snow in 3 weeks.

We have over 60 inches of snow. I am done with snow and shoveling, but I love living here and experiencing all four seasons.

Though it has not quite helped with inspiration for writing my Big Bang. I'm pushing myself and trying to write so many words a day or two.

Hopefully, I can get some more words tonight!!!

Well I'm in my sixth class in my Master's Degree Program and I've been doing a great job. I hate to put anything in someone's face or be con-seeded in any means, but I have been doing really well. 5 Classes taken and received an A in each class. Currently in my sixth class and currently have an A, but that can always change. I work really hard to achieve the grades I have worked hard for and earned. Though APA style is kicking my butt and driving my life crazy. There are so many rules to follow and I'm trying my best to make sure I follow them with accuracy. :/

My last paper I just got back my professor commented on the use of commas and semi-colons. I should read up on that before my next paper. And now my grammar is being picked a part - along with my in-text citations. I know its to help me in the long run but I feel I will never accomplish it. It brings me down (makes me cry) and I try so hard to give the professor the assignment they are asking and looking for. I will never give up but feel like all I can focus on is SCHOOL. I work 40 hours a week and come home and do homework for the rest of the time. I still need a time during this time to keep me sane.

It just makes me really wonder about my writing skills. Oh! I know, NEEDS HELP!!!! I complete makeover. In my school papers I need to remember to spell out all words and not to use slang language. Not that I do but still I need to write in a formal manner and I try my best and to cite in APA style appropriately. It is hard and now I have to work extra hours to make sure my assignments meet all standards before sending it in. I probably should really think about taking a grammar class because I feel like I have no clue on basic grammar. I love the comments and boost to make my next paper even better and I will always strive for this. I had to email my professor and re-send her an assignment, claiming I never completed it, which I did. I explained that the word document had 2 pages and the part she was looking for was on the second page. I sent the document in 2 different ways for her to get it that I did complete the assignment.

Trust me - who will want to read this again. Who wants to hear me complain about WRITING. LOL. Not many will. I don't blame them to be honest.

Anyway, it makes me wonder why should I continue writing in Fandom. I know my stories need lots of work and the stories don't seem to catch a readers eye. I wrote a story for a secret Santa challenge and my giftee liked it. No one knows how it felt that she liked it, truly liked it and thanked me for writing it for her. I have to say, I'm damn fucking proud of this story. The emotional ride I went through pushed me to complete it and write the story I wanted to share. I'm really nervous about writing and sharing more stories for Fandom. I really do enjoy it, but I have so much to learn. I'm excited to work on my newest story and I hope it goes well. I'm not sure I will be able to pull it off but willing to take chances and risks. I know people have told me to 'keep on writing' and to 'practice practice practice' but its hard when you have no natural talent or the ability of creative expression. Anyway now that the tears have dried I will always continue to strive to do better and achieve my goals.

This word count so far is for my Secret Santa. I hope to post it for her soon!!! Though, its a good start and I'm happy with it. Even happy with my story and the changes I have made!!! I hope my secret Santa likes it!!!

Update so far for the year!!!

I feel like an ass and who knows if anyone will help me out.

I could use some advice on keeping in-character of Sam and Dean.

I would love to hear what your thoughts are on the subject. I would love a list or any form really of your in-character Sam and Dean as well as out-of-character Sam and Dean.

The story I'm writing needs to be IN CHARACTER and its completely, OUT of character at the moment. Any advice and suggestions on keep in-character would be appreciated.

I can't believe it...I just wrote 1,263 words...WOW

I'm a member at spn storyfinders and I love reading the requests from others and the stories found for the topic at hand. While there, I found one request that spoke deeply with me, that words can't even express.

I rec this wonderful and truly emotional piece written by septembers_coda known as I'm OK, You're OK.
I'm OK

Its a beautiful piece about Dean's self-worth and how he sees himself. Its not just a story about our favorite beloved boys, but a worthy piece that everyone should read. It opens the readers eyes into their own soul and how they feel about themselves. I cried my way through the story, especially the dialogue between the characters. And I'm still teary-eyed as I write this post.

I give septembers_coda for sharing this story with fandom and putting the heart and soul into it. It takes a talent and amazing writer to look deep within your own heart and soul to write an emotional piece about self worth. Thank you for writing an amazing piece that would be a wonderful resource for others who think so low of themselves that they deserve to be in the bubble by themselves with their growing pain, guilt, shame, etc. Because of this story, you opened my eyes to my dark secrets and fears.

( Thoughts under the cut... )

I saw this picture and I thought of Leviathans. They look like serpents or at least a form of a serpent. This sparked some interest and a plot bunny for my newest story.

Wish me Luck!!!

And it will be a Sam/Dean story!!!