I'm a Failure!!

[yonkyu]

Well its sadly official...but after a few months of an up and down roller coaster of emotions. I am a failure...at least that is what I am made to feel like anyway.

I work with toddlers and I been in the field of early childhood education for 13 years. Anyway there is this child who is very aggressive towards the other children and teachers, and some how its blamed on ME. Where I work we have what is known and a primary caregiver for so many children and this children is my primary. I have shared my concerns with the right people and nobody seems to help or find out different ways to support this child. Now I am just waiting to be written up for the incident that happened tonight when I get looks of "why the f... didn't you stop the child." "what were YOU doing for the child to do this..." And so forth. Its been an ongoing battle since the beginning of May and still nothing has changed. Just the blame is put on me whether stated out loud or not :/ Go ME!!!!!!

While I am trying to finish my last week of homework and re-reading my story to finish editing. We will see how all of that will go. :/

I keep trying. :/ despite it all...

Comments

[siennavie.livejournal.com]

It's easy to place blame on the "obvious" source. I think you should take pride in what you have done within your control - speaking up and reaching out for help. I'm sorry about the incident; I hope you'll be able to talk it out with your boos/manager, even though it sounds like it would fall on deaf ears.

[yonkyu.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the kind and supportive words. This child has had challenging and aggressive behavior since March and I have done everything I can for him in a nutshell. I even followed my Boss's orders and commands, but still his aggression continues to increase. The parent is following through with most of the recommendations from the school, but not all, so its frustrating. The child hits, pushes, kicks, pulls children down, and bites that can break the skin open. And I even shared my concerns of it getting worse, it just goes in one ear and out the other. And I get looks, comments, and attitude of why is he still doing all of this; which speaks to me that I am a fault. I am proud of all the hard work, long hours, and guidance I have offered to this child and family. :)

[dreamersdare.livejournal.com]

Ah, the delights of working in a blame culture. I share your pain.

I don't know what the procedure is for where you work, but in the same situation I would formally write up my concerns and the actions taken to date to address this, including the details of the incident in question and request for this to a) logged alongside any formal discipling you get, b) escalated along the appropriate channels within your organisation and c) recorded in any formal records you hold for this child.

Not that it will necessarily solve anything, but there should be a formal record from your perspective - it is highly unlikely anything will change overnight and that history is probably going to be important for helping this child.

[yonkyu.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your kind and supportive words. Anytime there is an accident or incident with the child I complete these two forms that remain within their file at the center. So every accident and incident that a child has is documented on paper and on computer in a system we use daily. Its the fact that I went to my boss to share my concerns of the behavior getting worse and nothing more has happened to help me as a teacher out for this child. It gets very frustrating as hell. I just want to be listened and heard regarding my concerns and feelings of the child's behavior.

[deanshot1]

You are NOT a failure by any means.
Keep going forward and think positive, I know your work situation is extremely stressful now and I know you've been getting a lot of stick from certain co-workers but please keep thinking positive.

And also you can do it on the last week of homework and your editing.

*hugs*

[yonkyu.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the kind and supportive words and advice. I will try and be as positive as I can be. I have been more open regarding how I feel regarding the child's behavior and can see the frustrating written on my teams face that matches mine.

Still working on my editing and staying focused to get it all down for me!!!

hugz

[saltandburnboys.livejournal.com]

You're not a failure, hon...sounds like a screwed up system to me. There's only so much you can do to help on your own...obviously, this child needs more help than you can give them and that's not your fault. I hope this gets sorted out properly for you. *Hugs*

xx